Special thanks to NotAgain for being awesome!
Scenario: my sister-in-law is 9 months pregnant, due any moment, withe the First Grandkid on either side. My brother is... brash, loudmouthed, inappropriate, ineffectually libertarian (is that redundant?), crass, and ALL ABOUT HIM. My SIL is a quiet, funny, bright woman who I also now consider a close friend and I cannot figure out why she married my brother, but that is beside the point.
So my mother just called me under the guise of asking about my new job, but really to try to investigate details of THE pregnancy. Every Tuesday, SIL, another friend, and I get together to have dinner and play video games, so I saw her two days ago, very pregnant, but also very healthy and in great spirits.
So Mom asked me, "So what has SIL said her doctor says?"
I said, "I wouldn't ask her about that."
Mom, "Why not? Your dad called her today and he didn't think to ask either."
Me, "Neither of us thought about it because asking someone about the discussions they have with their doctor is inappropriate."
Mom, "Not in this circumstance!"
Me, "Yes, in every circumstance. It's between that patient and the doctor. If she chose to volunteer something, that would be different, but I won't inquire. It's private! It's a medical thing!"
Mom, "It's not a medical thing, it's a baby!"
Me, "Until it's a human being outside of SIL, it's still exclusively between her and her doctor! And even then..!"
Mom, "I see your point. I don't agree*, but I see your point."
Am I nuts for being insanely angry about this? Seriously, I've watched my mother interrogate my long-term chronically ill father about doctor conversations, her brothers, us (her kids). It's not okay in my view. How can I better express it? What the hell is this about? Halp!
*When my mother says "I don't agree," it is code for, "your opinion is duly noted and will be thoroughly ignored and I will do as I please."