Today is such a Sunday. Which is only passable by the virtue that it is not Monday. But it is rainy and shitty and I am heartbroken for friends and I cannot do a single fucking thing to help.
Two of my most beloved people in the universe have broken up. And I have never been so worried about a friend before.
Small back story: she works in humanitarian affairs and travels ALL THE TIME and is often stationed in far-flung locales for long periods of time. When she visited the Farce household alone last year (she was in NYC on business), it was clear their relationship was strained in so many ways. Distance, his depression, her career. The handwriting was on the wall, but I love them both so much that I wanted them to get through it. They're such amazing people and deserve the happiness they once brought one another, and they worked so well for years. She's so kind and funny and generous to causes great and small. But I think she just ran out of relationship steam, and I know how that feels and I don't blame her.
He is honestly the most intelligent person I have ever had the privilege to call a friend, but suffers periodically with depression, and has been struggling to find a job teaching at the collegiate level for quite a while (for more than a few years). The distance, his needs, I think they were too great. I am in virtual panic mode over his well-being; I'm truly concerned he will hurt himself.
And to make me feel even more helpless, she's currently in Africa, he's in Europe, and I'm in North America.
What do I do? What can I do? My last interaction with him included him telling me explicitly "she'll need you." WHAT? I take no good implications from that sentiment. Do not say those things! Do not think those things! And then, I empathize with them both so much and I want them both to be happy and safe and well, with or without one another. fuck.
fuck this. fuck that. fuck all the things. just fuck.